I wonder, do people usually blog in the morning or maybe they wait the entire day and blog at night? Hmmm I don't really have much time after dark so I guess Ill just do it my way.....as usual. So lately trouble has been giving me lots of grief about eating his dinner. I'm not really sure why. I make breakfast - he eats it with a smile even, I make lunch and sometimes he even helps -and he eats that too with a smile, but come dinner time I get - I don't want it, I'm full, and the list goes on. Last night I even had him try it all before I plated it and he LOVED it, even gave me the thumbs up! *sigh* another one of life's mysteries I must unfold or crush which ever comes first lol
Today he and I are going to make a bird feeder with a 2 liter bottle (because he keeps throwing my perfectly good bread out the front door for the birds!) you see my dilemma! Then we are going to take a walk, well Ima gonna walk he's going to ride his quad. fun fun fun... :)
Mom talk - I cant stop having nightmares as to reasons she might have passed or how she felt when she did. When my dad passed I was there for two weeks while he suffered in front of me. We were able to say our goodbyes and lots of other stuff. This instantly being gone is sucking. I always wondered which hurt worse (or did it even) now I know in my opinion the instant SUCKS. No goodbye speech, no be good to your sister (as I know she woulda said) no "its ok I'm ok with this" ugh it drives me crazy!! Once I get past the nightmares I bet Ill be better.
speaking of my mom, this is the first year since, I don't even remember that I had to buy my own new year calendar, gosh I was spoiled lol kisses to you mom and dad - kisses to you!
toodles
having fun in the sun!
(maybe I will make a part 2 later if I have anything fun to say)! xoxo
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Age 4.1.14
Posted by Trouble's Mommy at 9:38 AM
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Gary had a dream right after my mom passed, just a couple days later. In it, he and she were just casually talking when suddenly she said, "what's going on? Where am I?" and he told her she had died, and she was completely shocked. She said "Oh! THAT's what happened!"
When I was trying to figure out whether this happened as a deliberat act or an accident, it drove me crazy. Ultimately, I accepted Gary's dream as the explanation--that it was an accident and no one was more surprised than she. Why not, it's as good an explanation as any. But I still think about it all the time. That's the trouble with time; time takes time.
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